Wake Me Up When September Ends

Ce-am mai facut in ultima vreme. Scurt pe doi.
Treaba cu organizarea este ca atunci cand vine vorba de hartii, contracte si administratii financiare trebuie sa te inarmezi cu rabdare. 10% nu va niciodata la fel cu 16%. cand am intrebat o madama functionara pentru ce se platesc unele si pentru ce altele, mi-a zis ca i-a cazut baza de date, chiar in ziua cand m-am hotarat si eu sa ma prezint cu intrebarile pe bat. nu mai poti sa faci nimic fara calculatoarele astea. nu-i nimic, maine o luam de la capat. am rabdare. a inceput sa-mi placa sa-mi ordonez finantele, mai ales acum cand sunt mai hotarata ca niciodata ca viata mea sa se reduca la un laptop si la cateva bilete de avion, de tren sau de autobuz.

pe urma imi dau seama ca trec foarte repede peste scurtele momente de cadere atunci cand lucrez intens.
selectie printre articole.
cel putin nu m-am indepartat de la subiectele pe care le-am urmarit de-a lungul timpului, atat cat sa-mi dau seama ca nu mai pot reprezenta tara asta cu sistemul ei putred pe nicaieri, mai ales ca ea nu ma reprezinta pe mine niciunde. in nici un fel. destul insa cat sa raman fidela anumitor oameni ce impart aceleasi simple necazuri care dau un acel piper umorului negru. sau cum spunea Mathias la o scurta intalnire saptamana trecuta: “devin agresiv doar cu prostii, simt nevoia de vulgaritate doar cu ei, sa le dau un pumn in capatana sa nu mai faca umbra pamantului degeaba si sa nu mai viseze atat la porumbei, sau sa aiba viziuni cu solzi de dinozaur cand e atata nedreptate in lume. sau sa ne scuteasca de bazaconiile lor”. iar Pictorul celalalt deja pune degetul si el pe harta sa vada unde isi va muta pensulele si draciile din imaginatie.

Nadia s-a tuns si mai scurt. o fi chiar asa de cald prin Dubai? n-am mai vazut-o de cinci ani. ultima data in acelasi aeroport, ma pregateam sa deschid capitolul editorial, acum aproape ca m-am linistit, sau il privesc cu detasare, ca o anexa a vietii mele, nu ca scop in sine. ne-am simtit ca la scoala, cand chiuleam de la sedintele din cancelarii si fugeam cu primul tren la mare sau ne ascundeam prin librarii sau cinematografe. era sa iau amenda ca i-am facut poze in aeroport. ma urmaresc amenzile astea peste tot, cum ma urmareau anul trecut jafurile, care ma prindea ma jefuia prin autobuze, eu tot cu capul in nori, cine stie la ce porumbei visam si eu.

in rest deciziile pe care le iau acum au mai multe constante. si fiecare problema rezolvata imi aduce un nou chef de munca, chef pe care-l pierdusem nu demult. dar poate ca e de vina toamna, mereu ma trezesc din somn cand ploua. imi place atunci sa ies in pragul usii si sa fumez o tigara.

Wake Me Up When September Ends

What I’ve done lately.
The thing with organizing papers, contracts and financial administration you must be armed with a lot of patience. 10% will never be the same as 16%. When I asked a civilservant lady why I`m paying this and for what, she said her database just broke down, right when I decided to present my stupid questions on a stick. You can do nothing without computers these days. never mind, tomorrow it`ll be another day. I have patience. I began to enjoy putting my finances in order , especially now when I am more than ever decided to reduce my life to a laptop and some plains, trains or bus tickets.

selection among my articles.
At least I had sticked from the same subjects on which I followed along time, long enough to realize that I can’t represent this country with its rotten system anywhere, especially it does not represent me somewhere. In any way. Enough to remain faithful to certain people that share with me same simple troubles giving them a black humor spangled with sour pepper. or how Mathias said to brief meeting last week: “I become aggressive only with stupid people, I feel the urge need to be completly rude only with them, and give them a punch in their face not do shadow on earth for nothing and no longer to dream at pigeons, or have visions with dinosaurs when is so much injustice in the world.” And the other Painter already put his finger on the map to see where he will move his brushes and his devilish imagination.

Nadia has cut her hair shorter than last time I saw her, 5 years ago, at the same airport, when I was preparing to open my editorial chapter, and now I`m looking on this chapter with some detachement as an annex to my life, not like a purpose in itself. Well, we felt like in school, when we were running away from boring meetings and we were taking the first train destination seaside or hiding us into libraries or cinema. I almost was to take a fine when I made her pictures in the airport. These fines follow me everywhere, how robbers followed me last year, whoever catch me robbed me in buses, all me – head in the clouds, who knows, maybe I was dreaming pigeons too that time.

All decisions I made lately are more consistent now. And every problem solved bring me a new energy in my work, something lost not so long ago. but maybe it’s the autumn`s fault, I always wake up from my sleep when it`s raining. when I like to stay in my front-door or in the balcony and smoke a cigarette.